GreatPhysician

Is Partial Plausibility the Same Thing as Impossible?

Lenticular Cloud over Harold’s Cross Dublin Ireland, Omnisource5 – 2015

My friend Bee,

I hope that you are beginning to see that this entire enterprise truly is all about you.  Is it evident to you that I am not trying to glorify myself?  This is all a pretty strange way of going about things, if that was my intent.

Please understand that I have never wanted to cause you stress, anxiety, fear, anger, or any other unpleasant feelings or emotions.  I know that many of the things that I have written to you have caused you grief, sorrow, and pain.  There are certain things that I knew at the time that I wrote them would be a discomfort to you, but there are other things that I have written where I did not foresee tears in your eyes.  However, I have always been careful to be as truthful with you as I could possibly ever be to anyone.  I have leaned very heavily upon God to lead me as I write to you, to be certain that I really am being truthful with you.

This is the problem.  Often times, the truth can be painful, but it is only by facing up to the truth that we can understand what is wrong and where the deception, the lies, and the subtlety exists in our lives.  The truth is a light that reveals the darkness.  Without the truth, we are unable to see the darkness in our lives.

In all soberness and sincerity, I have never knowingly allowed myself to say anything to you that I thought would cause you pain unless it was for the specific purpose to help you understand the truth.  It is out of love that I have thought to cause you to suffer, so that you might know the truth and to be able to see the darkness and to be free from that darkness.  Is it not better that you suffer sorrow and pain for a season in order to discover and to take hold of eternal joy and light, than it is to live in an undisturbed darkness until you finally realize that you will never ever be free from that darkness – a adarkness that continually becomes ever more dark?  I have only ever wanted you to be happy and filled with joy, but you will never be able to find true happiness and to live in untethered joy as long as you are living in darkness.

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The Great Physician

The Brazen Serpent, Johann König, 1601-1642

My dear friend,

In part two of the explanation of my gastrointestinal issues (titled, “Not by Bread Alone”), I wrapped up the story of my sore tummy and how I arrived at my current condition.  I also introduced the prescription that God has given me to treat my illness and prepare me for my trip around the Globe, a fast.  The interesting thing is that He has not told me how long I am supposed to be on this fast for.  As of today, I have been fasting for nine straight days.  For some reason, I suspect that I will be on this fast for a total of 21 days, but God has yet to confirm that notion.  For all I know it could be 40 days.  Perhaps, He does not want me freak out at the thought that I have 32 days more to go, so He simply is not telling me.

I find that God does that very thing quite often with me.  There are facts that He will not give me until the very last minute; because, He knows that it would crush me if I knew certain details any sooner than necessary.  It is a great comfort to rest in God’s infinite understanding and knowledge, and to trust that He always knows what it best.  When I am truly following His will, I never have to worry about dark the path that is ahead of me.  He provides a path through the menacing gauntlet every time!   Yet I do not understand why it is, but I often worry and fret regardless.  God has been faithful to deliver me time and again – practically every day of my life – and I still cannot seem to remember that fact, until I stop for a moment, pray, and reflect on all His goodness.

In my last post I mentioned the fact that the fungal infection that I am fighting against is an outbreak of Geotrichum candidum in two different areas of my large intestines: in the cecum and in the descending colon.  I also mentioned that I have tried many different treatment protocols over the years, and that none of them have ever been effective enough to overcome the outbreak.  This is true even after I made adjustments to target Geotrichum candidum specifically, and my supposition for this condition is that the infection has taken up root in my appendix.

The problem is that there is no way to delivery enough of any anti-fungal agent to the areas of infection in order to completely wipe it out.  I have come remarkably close a few different times, but in the end, I simply cannot get to the foothold that it has established deep inside my appendix.  What I have determined is that the only way it can be fully exterminated is to starve is out.  I have to stop feeding the fungal colony, which means that I have to stop eating.  Moreover, I must be very careful not to drink any more water than necessary, as water aids in the survival of the fungus.

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