faith

Who is Elmira?

David and Goliath, Guillaume Courtois, 1650-1660

My dear friend 🐝,

God has given me another message to deliver to you, and it all started with a crazy dream that He gave to me. Before I tell you about the dream, here is the message from God to you. It is a passage of scripture about King David from the 2nd book of Samuel the priest. David’s army had just defeated Absalom and his army in their rebellion and insurrection against King David:

“4But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son! 5And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; 6In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well. 7Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto thy servants: for I swear by the LORD, if thou go not forth, there will not tarry one with thee this night: and that will be worse unto thee than all the evil that befell thee from thy youth until now. 8Then the king arose, and sat in the gate. And they told unto all the people, saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate. And all the people came before the king: for Israel had fled every man to his tent.”

– 2nd Samuel 19:4–8

The meaning of the name, “David,” is “beloved.”

The meaning of the name, “Joab,” is “Jehovah is father.”

The meaning of the name, “Absalom,” is “my father is peace.”

The gate is the place of judgement. It is the city hall. It is the Supreme Court Building and the Capitol Building all wrapped up into one.

Therefore, as this message is given to you, the person of Joab represents myself.  I am your messenger on behalf of God the Father, and the person of David represents you.

You have been stricken with the loss of your peace.  You are in travail of grief.  You are in great sadness.  I have been feeling it for a while now, but these last six weeks have been an exceedingly weighty burden on my soul.  (I am not talking about the heartbreak that I feel for you.  That is something that is always there, and as my love for you grows so does my heartbreak.)  This is a burden that is beyond that heartbreak.  I can feel that you are in a state of turmoil and sadness, unlike anything that you have ever experienced before.

As I said to you in my recent post (“Is Partial Plausibility the Same Thing as Impossible?”), I have never wanted to make you sad, but I know that I have said things to you that have made you sorrowful.  I deeply regret that my words have made you cry, but as I also stated, I have only ever done so out of love.  I have always been truthful with you.  I have never hesitated to tell you the truth, even when I knew it was going to be something hard for you to hear.  I respect you and love you far too much to hide information from you.  Whenever I believe that you need to know about something, I always tell you about it, truthfully and entirely.  How many times have I trusted you with information that was not deemed to be appropriate for you to know, according to the judgement of others?

I deeply regret that I have made you sorrowful, but it is better that you know the truth.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”

– Psalm 30:5

However, I know that my words are not the only source of your present misery.  Something far more painful has wounded your spirit, and I feel the weight of it on my own spirit.  I find that I am now praying for you twenty or more times each day.  Neither are these simple prayers.  They are arduous and tear-filled prayers, and many are lengthy and exhausting to my mind, spirit, and body.  I am skipping meals.  I have been losing weight.  I do not understand what it is that is going on with you or what is happening in your life, but it must be very serious.  It feels to my own spirit like it is something that has wounded your spirit as no other experience that you have ever had before.  Therefore, I have been asking the Lord to help me understand why this has been happening and why you are in such turmoil.  So He gave me an answer, and this dream is the beginning of the answer that He gave me:

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Love Comes from a Fountain Not from the Sky

God’s love does not rain down upon you and I from Heaven. We do not drink water from the sky. We drink water from a spring. Likewise, we receive the love of God from a fountain. Now, there are many fountains, but not all fountains are springing with the love of God. God has made my fountain pure. Through the blood of Jesus Christ my heart has been washed white as snow. I am a fountain flowing with the pure love of God, because God has washed me and made me clean. The words that I write to you are not my words; they are His words. They are words of truth and of life, because they are the words of Jesus.

When anyone takes my words and causes them to mean something different than what I wrote, they are not simply manipulating my own words. They are making God out to be a liar, because they are His words, not mine.

God is not obsessed with you, Bee! And neither am I!

God is a jealous God. God created you and He loves you. He has given you a free will to choose as you would. Why would you not choose life? He is holding out His hand. He is the God of all salvation. He is the God of all comfort. He is truth. He is light. He is the creator and the source of true and pure love. He is life. He gave His own life for you. He does not want you to worship the idols of the world. He wants you to worship Him, your creator. He is a jealous God.

But you say, “I don’t worship any idols?” Oh! But you do! Everything you covet you worship. You desire the praise of the men and the women around you, in your life. You want to be “somebody.” You want to have a nice car and a nice home. You want to eat delicious meals and drink tasty cocktails. You want to travel and experience faraway places. You want to be entertained. You spend all of your time thinking about these worldly pleasures.

All of these desires are things that are given to you and I by God. God wants you and I to have good and beautiful things in our lives, but He does not want us to covet them. They are all things that He created. God does not want you and I to worship His creations. He wants you and I to worship Him!

He wants you and I to live!

When we turn our back on God and we fail to recognize Him and to praise Him for all his blessings, we are not living. We are dead in trespasses and sin. The only way we can have true life is through Jesus Christ.

This is not obsession!

I have never had any desire to possess you. God has never had any desire to possess you. If God wanted to possess you, he would. He is God. There is nothing that could ever stop God from possessing you. But God does not possess you, does He?

Does a mother want to keep her baby in her womb and hold on to her baby forever? No, she wants her baby to grow and to be born a spirit of its own.

Bee, God wants to give unto you! He wants to give you living water. He wants to give to you life! He wants to give you a new heart! He wants to give you salvation from your own sin and iniquity.

This is what I want for you, Bee! I want you to have life and joy and peace. I will do anything that God commands me in order to see to it that you obtain it. I will gladly forfeit my own life for that purpose. But nothing I do can give you eternal life. Only Jesus can give you eternal life. All I am trying to do is to lead you to His outstretched hand.

Take hold of His hand and live, Bee!

Take His hand.

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Today’s Prayer

Father, Thank you for your excellent Word. Thank you, Lord, that that your Word so immensely deep, powerful, and meaningful that it causes us great effort simply to understand those truths that you consider to be of the smallest things that you have to present to us. Every time that we study your Word you show us increasingly more marvelous and incredible wonders. I do not know Lord, but it seems that often times the more that I read a passage, the greater the meaning that comes from it. One might think that it would be the other way around, but your Word is so alive and living and endless. Your Word is always abounding with instruction, truth, grace, and love. We ask you Lord that you would bless us with a greater understanding the bounty of marvelous things that you have to show us in your Word. Bless us now, Father, that we would see and understand our blessed Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through those things that we study your Word today.

We pray in Jesus’s excellent name. Amen!

To Read the English Translation of These Two Passages of Scripture >

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Do You Want me to Fail?

Whoobie misses you, Bee

Bee,

Please do not take this as an accusation. I am simply pleading with you to examine your own heart. Please ask yourself, “Would I really want to see Dale fail in his mission?  I can understand how that you could wish that I would leave you alone and shut down this Website and delete all of the posts that I have posted, but you know as well as I that such thoughts are not realistic.  There really is, in essence, two outcomes to this road that you and I are on.  Either God truly has sent me on this quest for you, or I am a nut that has an incurable obsession over you.  There is no middle ground.

If I am that nut, I will most certainly come to an unpleasant end.  I will fail to get anywhere close to Singapore, and my infamy will live on for several years to come.  Who knows how long my Website will continue to stay up and running?  If anything, my demise would probably spur some popularity for some time to come, before slowly petering out over time.

More than that, has it ever been said that my demise would be to your benefit? I do not believe that you would feel that way, yet perhaps somehow somewhere there have been whispers of that suggestion in the air.

Would it not be better that my quest for you be a genuine command from God?  Even if I were to die in my attempt, it would prove that my love for you is a true and a pure love and that I am a true man of integrity.  Is it not better to have a true man of integrity bidding for your soul?

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Is Partial Plausibility the Same Thing as Impossible?

Lenticular Cloud over Harold’s Cross Dublin Ireland, Omnisource5 – 2015

My friend Bee,

I hope that you are beginning to see that this entire enterprise truly is all about you.  Is it evident to you that I am not trying to glorify myself?  This is all a pretty strange way of going about things, if that was my intent.

Please understand that I have never wanted to cause you stress, anxiety, fear, anger, or any other unpleasant feelings or emotions.  I know that many of the things that I have written to you have caused you grief, sorrow, and pain.  There are certain things that I knew at the time that I wrote them would be a discomfort to you, but there are other things that I have written where I did not foresee tears in your eyes.  However, I have always been careful to be as truthful with you as I could possibly ever be to anyone.  I have leaned very heavily upon God to lead me as I write to you, to be certain that I really am being truthful with you.

This is the problem.  Often times, the truth can be painful, but it is only by facing up to the truth that we can understand what is wrong and where the deception, the lies, and the subtlety exists in our lives.  The truth is a light that reveals the darkness.  Without the truth, we are unable to see the darkness in our lives.

In all soberness and sincerity, I have never knowingly allowed myself to say anything to you that I thought would cause you pain unless it was for the specific purpose to help you understand the truth.  It is out of love that I have thought to cause you to suffer, so that you might know the truth and to be able to see the darkness and to be free from that darkness.  Is it not better that you suffer sorrow and pain for a season in order to discover and to take hold of eternal joy and light, than it is to live in an undisturbed darkness until you finally realize that you will never ever be free from that darkness – a adarkness that continually becomes ever more dark?  I have only ever wanted you to be happy and filled with joy, but you will never be able to find true happiness and to live in untethered joy as long as you are living in darkness.

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Science is a Wherry

When I first began this blog, I did not anticipate that my struggles with my health and my diet were going to be quite as extreme as they have been.  Neither did I expect the Bible Study effort to be so all-consuming.  Do not get me wrong. I fully anticipated that both of these aspects were going to be exceedingly difficult to handle, yet they both turned out to be far greater challenges than I expected.

I knew that the battle with my gastrointestinal affliction was going to be exceedingly difficult.  After all, I have been battling with this affliction for 20 years.  I knew that it was going to be insanely difficult, but I had no clue that, in the process, I would be uncovering this long-standing body-fluid balance issue.  The whole situation has been a huge surprise to me. It is an incredibly complex problem, and it is not a situation that can be resolved quickly by any means.

With the Bible study, it just never occurred to me that the beginning of the Scofield Bible would contain so many comments to grapple with, as well as comments of such complexity and depth.  With the Scofield Study Bible, well over 10% of all the comments in the entire Bible are contained in the book of Genesis.  Moreover, some of the most complex and comprehensive comments that Dr. Scofield includes in his Bible are situated in the first half of the book of Genesis.  Therefore, the effort to produce these Bible studies, here at the beginning, has been about three times as great as what I anticipated.

As a result, I have had no choice but to completely neglect the care and feeding of my blog, and, more importantly, I have not been able to focus my attention on you as I feel that I should.  As I stated in my most recent blog post, “The Waiting Drives Me Crazy,” God has let me face these difficulties for very definite purposes.  There are reasons why these difficulties have come about, and they are very good reasons.  Furthermore, they are all reasons that need to be explained; however, I cannot explain them to you until you understand more about the quest itself.

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The Waiting Drives me Crazy

Person In A Space Suit Waiting At The Bus Stop, Tom Leishman 2020

My dear friend,

It is hard to believe that it has been two whole months since I last posted a letter to you.  When I started working on the Bible studies, I very quickly became inundated with that effort.  I found that I did not have time for anything else.  Virtually everything in my life has been put on the backburner.  Even those daily and weekly activities (such as house cleaning and hygiene) that we all must do in order to keep ourselves fit for living have suffered because of my effort in producing these Bible Studies.

I knew long before I started work on these Bible Studies that they were going to be a very big challenge for me, but now that I am doing them, I find that it is a far greater effort than I could ever have imagined.  It is somewhat humorous; because, when the idea first came to me, I was envisioning that I would simply be reading the text of the Bible to you.  And nothing else!  (This was before God gave me the errand to circumnavigate.)  I had this idea that I would set up a blog site with the main purpose of communicating my own love to you in a way that you might come to realize the true nature of my love for you.  I thought that if I did it that way, that you might understand that I genuinely never had any desires or intentions to take anything from you.

(To this very day, I am still completely perplexed as you why you ever thought that I wanted to exploit you in any way at all.  How could my affections for you have been so completely misunderstood?  From where, and how, did you ever arrive at such a dreadful conclusion?)

I figured that if I communicated to you in the form of blog posts (and the like) that you might see that I am honestly not seeking for nor expecting anything in return.  Although, I have told you this before, but what can I do?  You are trapped in a world of darkness my dearest friend!  I am not able to comprehend what it is that has a hold on your heart and your mind, but this I do know.  It is not of anything that is good and pure!

You say that you do no believe that God exists.  You say that the Bible is fake.  Oh!  But my friend!  You know deep in your heart that those words are only lies.  You know deep in your heart that there is a God.  You know that you … your very own self … you have a soul!  You have a spirit!  Where is that spirit of yours going to go when you pass on from this life to the next?  What are you going to do when you find yourself in that boundless abyss after your body has died and been buried?  What are you going to do when you stand in judgement before that very one that you claim does not exist?

Can you not understand how completely heartbroken I am over you … over your soul?  I make no claim over your body or your soul.  It is God that wants your soul!  God gave you life.  God gave you your body and your mind.  All He is asking is for you to believe in Him.  God has already provided the salvation for your soul.  He simply asks that you believe.

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Pure Love

My dear friend,

Back on February, 20th 2021, I posted a letter for you titled, “Our Shelter.”  You may recall that in that letter I was explaining to you the great paradox that I found myself in, and how I was not able to reconcile the choice between laying down my life for you or for my wife (in a manner of speaking).  I said:

“If I had two lives to give, I would gladly give them both so that God’s love would be made real to you and to her.  It is a great conflict to my soul! … but in truth, I have never actually had a choice in the matter.”

Ultimately, I finished by proclaiming that “she will not accept it!”  I said that she would not accept the perfect love of God that I had attempted to give her for so many years!  I even went on to add that, “She will gladly accept my carnal love, but she will not accept God’s true and perfect love.”  It was a very harsh thing for me to say, and I certainly heard about it!  Especially, from my mother!

I rejoice in my great God and Savior that I have been proven wrong this day!  For this day, I have come to understand that I did not rightly understand the situation.

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The Great Physician

The Brazen Serpent, Johann König, 1601-1642

My dear friend,

In part two of the explanation of my gastrointestinal issues (titled, “Not by Bread Alone”), I wrapped up the story of my sore tummy and how I arrived at my current condition.  I also introduced the prescription that God has given me to treat my illness and prepare me for my trip around the Globe, a fast.  The interesting thing is that He has not told me how long I am supposed to be on this fast for.  As of today, I have been fasting for nine straight days.  For some reason, I suspect that I will be on this fast for a total of 21 days, but God has yet to confirm that notion.  For all I know it could be 40 days.  Perhaps, He does not want me freak out at the thought that I have 32 days more to go, so He simply is not telling me.

I find that God does that very thing quite often with me.  There are facts that He will not give me until the very last minute; because, He knows that it would crush me if I knew certain details any sooner than necessary.  It is a great comfort to rest in God’s infinite understanding and knowledge, and to trust that He always knows what it best.  When I am truly following His will, I never have to worry about dark the path that is ahead of me.  He provides a path through the menacing gauntlet every time!   Yet I do not understand why it is, but I often worry and fret regardless.  God has been faithful to deliver me time and again – practically every day of my life – and I still cannot seem to remember that fact, until I stop for a moment, pray, and reflect on all His goodness.

In my last post I mentioned the fact that the fungal infection that I am fighting against is an outbreak of Geotrichum candidum in two different areas of my large intestines: in the cecum and in the descending colon.  I also mentioned that I have tried many different treatment protocols over the years, and that none of them have ever been effective enough to overcome the outbreak.  This is true even after I made adjustments to target Geotrichum candidum specifically, and my supposition for this condition is that the infection has taken up root in my appendix.

The problem is that there is no way to delivery enough of any anti-fungal agent to the areas of infection in order to completely wipe it out.  I have come remarkably close a few different times, but in the end, I simply cannot get to the foothold that it has established deep inside my appendix.  What I have determined is that the only way it can be fully exterminated is to starve is out.  I have to stop feeding the fungal colony, which means that I have to stop eating.  Moreover, I must be very careful not to drink any more water than necessary, as water aids in the survival of the fungus.

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Not by Bread Alone

Lord’s cup and bread and bible, John Snyder, 2013

My dear friend,

When I last expounded upon the details of my gastrointestinal issues in one of my previous posts (titled, “Spilling my Guts”), I was only able to tell you half of the story.  Now I would like to take the opportunity to tell you the other half of the story, and to introduce the plan that God has for my deliverance from this affliction.

In the post, Spilling my Guts, I explained how the doctors that I had seen over the years were limited by their own system of pathophysiology (or pathology, take your pick), and how that became the primary obstacle preventing them from properly diagnosing my issue.  Furthermore, I explained how I was blessed by God to meet a doctor that could help me, the late Dr. Vincent Marinkovich.  Dr. Marinkovich was able to properly diagnose the problem, but then he died before I could be appropriately treated for my illness.

Nonetheless, God was faithful in leading me to finding a solution for the original problem that I had, which was Candidiasis (aka overgrowth of Candida albicans).  However, this was a process that took a few more years.  During that time of self-treatment, I was able to get rid of the Candidiasis, but there was a different fungus that moved in and took up residence in place of the Candida albicans.  I do not have any clear notion of when this happened.  For a number of years, I thought that I was still fighting the Candida albicans, when in reality I was fighting this new fungus, Geotrichum candidum.

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